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chvrizard:

unclefather:

this is the wrong color tricycle mom I hate you so much this is the worst birthday ever

Every time I see this picture it has a different caption and they just keep getting better and better

"So please ask yourself: What would I do if I weren’t afraid? And then go do it."

- Sheryl Sandberg, Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead (via larmoyante)

(via vodkacupcakes)

captcreate:

vsian:

When you put the tip in and she already moanin.

image

Oh, dear.  

(via zackisontumblr)

yzmavocado:

hopes are like hair ornaments. when you’re a little girl, you want to wear too many. when you’re older, you look foolish wearing even one. long story short I just went to a McDonalds and their milkshake machine was broken

(via urbancatfitters)

foobar137:

The good thing about being stuck on the Jungle Cruise: how often do you get to do a panorama of the elephant bathing pool?
ssigghs:


“Just Good Friends” by James Needham

i’ll never not reblog this

bull-shipping:

bull-shipping:

bull-shipping:

what are the strongest days of the week?

saturday and sunday. the rest are weekdays.

stop unfollowing me

(Source: idjtits, via gnarly)

(Source: proudly-pro-choice, via emmbr)

xpw:

so today at work I cleaned this old man’s golf clubs and I thought he was getting his wallet out of his bag but instead he pulls out this giant plastic target bag of yellow plums. he tipped us in yellow plums. he told us not to tell anyone we had these and I looked them up because they were so good and these plums are illegal in the US. I got tipped in illegally imported plums. 

(Source: copulates, via emmbr)

Reader: Dear Mr. Snicket, What is the best way to keep a secret?
Lemony Snicket: Tell it to everyone you know, but pretend you are kidding.
southernshellsandweddingbells:

THIS IS LITERALLY A DESCRIPTION OF MY LIFE